LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps. Any program will expand to fill available memory. WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. “I just saw my life flash before my eyes and all I could see was a close tag…”. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. cout<<"god damn funny jokes!!!!" Any non-trivial program contains at least one bug. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?” The code doesn’t actually have to do anything if it’s executed, but it should look like regular code. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months It sees two tables and says “Hey, can I join you guys?”. […]. KEYBOARD: Whar you hang the dang truck keys. Programmers are so lazy, Brilliant ! For i=0 to 100 Step 1 SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifes. end, […] think these programming jokes are […], […] you know the programmer joke about the shower? By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived. ~~~~~ Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. […]. This is very funny, but where can I see the comedy code? They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. Ass…[100%] We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”. You question the worthiness of my code? Сheerful jokes! While his data uploaded into her input device, she considered terminating the process. There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks. Top 10 phrases spoken by a Klingon Programmer, The programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can’t find a girlfriend with a good on her , reason 0 being that he has limited cache. A computer programming degree prepares students to succeed in the computer science field. A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. Lubarsky’s Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There’s always one more bug. Laughed at by project managers CodeHill » 8 Links to Programmer Jokes Pages, » Funny One-Liners to add to your bugzilla Quip List, http://www.jokes.net/shortprogrammerjokes.htm, Happy Six Monthiversary! Programmers love routines-FOR EVERYTHING. “Wow! Hack deep into my system! One hundred little bugs in the code msgBox “Have a good day!” A programmer had a problem once. Thank you for sharing such an interesting and informative article. Nice jokes:) Each puzzle/challenge has a theme (e.g. Smoking is hazardous to your health!”, To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. […] Everyone needs a good laugh, even programmers. He asks Satan to show his work. I *was* going to send this list to a coder I like…, hahaha, now that is funny: ‘Nuff said. This is a fact which I think may look like a joke: “Well, yes and no.”, “What binary are numbers?” One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. Quake. nice! http://www.fullbc.in, @fullbc wecomic, lolzz man its awesome good work carry on will keep checking FullBC, pretty funny, I really enjoyed reading them, […] Feeling a bit off – Blog with best developer jokes: http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ […], […] "Best Programming Jokes" and tell some of them to your programmer […], haha, some of those hurt though, damn, damn DAMN, haha. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Especially the geeky kid and the code on the blackboard. “Who’s there?” Strange jargon: “Stick,” “Rock,” “Dime bag,” “E”. I'm also youtube user jimmyrcom, and I've made several educational video tutorials in the past. All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors. Done…. DevTopics is written by Tim Toady, the founder of Browserling Inc, a. CNC programming is a software used for designing the programs for controlling the machine tool. Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later. He attempted to install a backdoor worm but her response was 403. ENTER: Northerner talk fer, “C’mon in, y’all.” Thank you! good collection.. cheers, […] jokes for geekz.Some of them feels a little bit "screen-shaped head", but give it a try :http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/KILLER JOKES – New York PostApr 6, 2008 … KILLER JOKES. Подборка просто THE BEST!!! LOL, Just wanna share this vid… awesome animation and a lot of good jokes The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. It's often a problem for me, as I usually don't like the background music in cafes and pubs, or the background music in youtube videos etc. DevTopics is a high-level and sometimes satirical look at software development and computer technology. Comedy Code is syntactically correct programming code written just for fun. – The Wizardry Compiled by Rick Cook. “You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist. Tits…[100%] “Is this a true/false question?”, Who said programming is boring? 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The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. The award was first introduced at the 15th National Film Awards in 1967. […] This post was Twitted by chayanin […], […] following jokes are completely unoriginal, and credit is due to these websites: http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ http://www.jokes.net/shortprogrammerjokes.htm http://www.heuse.com/cphumor.htm […], Dim i as Integer Job is assisted by industry’s producing newer, faster machines. […] Best Programming Jokes (tags: programming humor funny) Uncategorized […], Gr8, Gr8…. Programmer 1: Now we have two problems, […] 1 and 2] Turit savo firminių juokelių? MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs debug.print “Kisses” A programmer walks to the butcher shop and buys a kilo of meat. Their product causes unhealthy addictions. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code! getch(); You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”. – How do you know C programmers? Und wenn das langweilig geworden ist, kann man sich hier die angeblich besten Programmierer Witze durchlesen. The Cave » Blog Archive » Who’s your paret node?! Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. =/ Tracing Practice Book. So he searches his memory to recall connecting to the TCP/IP tunnel of his last girlfriend — sometimes even without a secure socket. Woltman’s Law: Never program and drink beer at the same time. “I have a pretty good idea what Heaven is like, so let’s see Hell.”  So an angel takes the programmer to a sunny beach, full of beautiful women in skimpy bikinis playing volleyball, listening to music and having a great time. One of the store's best features is the ease with which you can find new tracks. I wrote two programmer’s jokes, both dealing with binary numbers. i’m appalled that they would include a comic but not include XKCD! DOS: Defunct Operating System How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Just a quick update – I’ve moved my developer comic to a new address – Find the top 100 most popular items in Amazon Books Best Sellers. THE 50 best BITS, GAGS AND QUIPS THAT […], […] DevTopics has posted a great list of the Best Programming Jokes. So […], […] allgemeine Sammlung zum Thema Programmierer-Humor, die mir recht gut gefallen hat, findet man hier. LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses He reduces height and spots a man down below. Ship it! Selection THE BEST!!! « I Built His Cage, Шутка про Прогеров и Наркодиллеров - Блог Геворка, 3 Best Possible If-Else Construct Alternatives | MarketingTypo.com, Funny Programming Jokes | Amrykid's Epic Blog, Software Development Cycles… ;-) | webdesign joomla online business marketing geeks und das web 2.0, Christmas Computer Programming with Santa Claus, NOICEX.ch » Blog Archive » Programming Jokes & Fun, Feeling a bit off – Blog with best developer jokes « systemfeld blog, Sem 1: Few Programming Related Jokes ← Vivek's Blog, Feeling a bit off – Blog with best developer jokes | systemfeld, http://www.tonylea.com/2013/10-awesome-programming-jokes/, My top x programmer jokes - code & unicorns, Best computer Jokes!>?#Cyberjoke Friday v1.5 | Oversite Sentry, Code Memorization 101 | Writing on the Web 2015, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aCMpJMzGgE&t=1s, Programmer Productivity: The "Tenfinity Factor", DevURLs – A simple programming news aggregator, Print a Directory Tree in Windows Explorer, Clear DNS Cache to See DNS Changes Immediately, How to Check the Application Event Log for Errors, Programmer’s Nightmare: Cubital Tunnel Syndrome, Protect Your Software with Patents, Copyrights and Trademarks. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn’t work and discovers 15 new bugs. Thanks for the laughs. MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs. Two bytes meet. Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science. […] – Biggie (Original Version)Video: Drake & Nicki Minaj Perform “Make Me Proud” on SNLBest Programming Jokes body { background-color: #ffffff; […], Hey DevTopics: Would you remove the first joke about rape already? Mein persönlicher Favorit daraus: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. Hahah funny list. Programmer 1: We have a problem here’s entire comic on these kind of jokes Realize that there’s tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. HARD DRIVE: Gittin’ home in the winter time. Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists. – Tagalog Jokes, […] http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ AKPC_IDS += "68,";Популярность: 0 […], A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t really bugs. The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer. else Do you want to continue [Y/n]?Y They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem. superb ! msgBox “[email protected]” […] from here Posted by syafriadi Filed in Personal […], […] Source http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ […], hey! […] or from http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ […]. Become a software developer. […] de leer esta increíble página con algunos chistes frikis, me acorde que despues de mucho googlear encontre un mirror del […], To improve […], […] שני בייטים נכנסים לפאב, המוזג שואל אותם “מה אפשר להכין לכם” אז הבייטים עונים “תעשה אותנו כפול”. It really helped me get over what I was doing. nice collection had a good laugh. MONITOR: Keepin’ an eye on the wood stove. Best music streaming service for Amazon Prime members: ... For example, there's no live programming or lossless audio plan like there are on some other music streaming services. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. How did the programmer die in the shower? There are 10 types of people in the world. Το πρώτο είναι με “Τα καλύτερα Αστεία Προγραμματιστών ή Προγραμματισμού”. there are 3 types of people in the world; Instantly the programmer finds himself in red-hot lava with demons tearing at his flesh. I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code! BYTE: Whut them dang flys do. There's a problem loading this menu right now. }, […] This post was Twitted by __luizfilipe […], […] This post was Twitted by hannelita […], Java Programmer 1: We have a problem in our website Hahahaa, this is awesome. My favorite: Extremely insulting to people in the IT profession. […], […] Best Programming Jokes Share: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. !”  He scanned for open ports. Debugging: Removing the needles from the haystack. A man […]. “But my memory still hanging around my wife” he said painfully while lighting his cigarette. “I just saw my life flash before my eyes and all I could see was a close tag…”, […] acceptable and in certain circles even “cool”, however actually laughing out loud at programming jokes gets very close to actually crossing the line. Those were hilarious, and inspired me to write a funny poem about a baby trying to choose which programming language to learn. Rinse. Once a young software programmer meet Zen master MG in a bar and requested for help, DOOM. program the turret to shoot down airships that come too close), which kicks up the fun factor. Our users will know fear and cower before our software! How did he do it?”, God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.”. ... (Music Television), which originally made music videos its primary and only programming to watch. It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds. Programmer 2: Let’s use RegEx! Over 25 programming languages are supported, including Java, C#, Python, JavaScript, Lua, Go, Rust, and more. WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System New cartoons every week! Original content copyright © 2007-2008 Tim Toady. […], […] A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike …http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/Math jokes collection by Andrej and Elena Cherkaev… makes people ill, mathematics make them sad […], An addition to the “CIA” list: I’ve actually gotten people to understand something they didn’t previously by telling them to think of SMTP as an abbreviation for “send mail to people.”, […] DevTopics.com Etiquetas: Geek, Humor Compártelo […], […] viel Spaß damit. Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop. Those people have been fighting for millennia. I’m free!”, exclaimed the the programmer. those that can count, The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”, The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”, “Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”. Repeat. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. Now she demanded a massage, but this was rejected as “Feature Creep.”  He smacked her back-end and shouted, “Who’s your parent node? This resulted in a Syntax Error. This machine is GAGH! Sofware you make will be: Criticized by testers SCREEN: Whut to shut when it’s black fly season. Programming is like sex: One hundred little bugs in the code. http://devjoke.com developer jokes in one place. Shaw’s Principle: Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it. Perhaps it IS a good day to die! From the Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary: Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free…. […], […] Les meilleures blagues en rapport avec la programmation. Most computer programming degrees allow students to select a minor or … It made me laugh a lot. Also check out my new webcomic about web developers, programmers and browsers! […] Best Programming Jokes (Timm Webb) […], That first joke is just offensive — seriously, programmers are introverts (they don’t even go near members of the opposite sex). But programming your own sounds in Serum takes time, especially if you’re not familiar with synthesis.. Luckily there’s a dedicated community out there building free … For more details see the about JimmyR.com page. The third joke it should be 8 bits walk into a bar, […] the website devtopics.com Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. I lost it all when the power went out.”, “Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”. He decided to use Java. “Ok, log in to PhpMyAdmin, access My SQL database and delete the old files,” replyed MG with a misterious look. ... Best Programming Jokes … Do your job well, and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you. The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”, Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?” This is a mashup of many vote based news sites and popular technology and programming blogs. a programmer did it??? WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it’s cold outside. Any given program, when running, is obsolete. “Wow!” he exclaims, “Hell looks great! […]. “Where’s the beach? […], […] Best Programming Jokes (tags: programming humor jokes funny computer geek fun *) […], […] Original Post: Best Programming Jokes Reference: Speak Forcefully – The Klingon Language Institute […], […] moka, vicc es kacagas: http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ « előző | Mészáros Gábor — 2008. All these jokes are now illustrated at my new Programming Comic. Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited. –Those who can’t understand programming jokes. None – It’s a hardware problem. I understand other people might be more used to music as background music, and can have music on without listening to it. Any given program costs more and takes longer. https://lol.browserling.com. MODEM: Whutcha do to the hay fields. very hilarious jokes , thank you guys for the collection you’ve really made my day. Can’t stop laughing haha, they are awesome. >The comedy code link doesn’t work. !1 hahaah Im a geek too , […] тему “Какого полу компьютер?” (источник – в блоге DevTopics). Gallois’ Revelation: If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but tomfoolery. WOWwwwwwww, i read it all and made me laugh a lot, hehehehe This is very funny, but where can I see the comedy code? Cricut Maker: 4 Books in 1: Beginner’s guide + Design Space + Project Ideas vol 1 & 2 . “7F and FF meet. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? very long pause…. All rights reserved. His last girlfriend always complained about his lack of comments. The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.””, Change to: OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too else […]. PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms […]. “Two bytes meet. IBM: I Blame Microsoft A programmer finds himself in front of a committee that decides whether he should go to Heaven or Hell. Q. “One more fool get enlightened!”, said MG quitely and finished his glass. I could see that happening. 1. I definitely enjoyed reading your insights and learning from your blogsite. You can buy music as singles or albums; most singles cost $1.29 or $1.99, while albums run to about $10. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. B: while fortune; do fortune ; done, […] Of course, what I will learn and do will be much more complex than this […]. DevURLs – A Neat Developer News Aggregator, How to Initialize Flags Enumerations in C#, Google Considered C# as the Native Language for Android, C# Custom Enumerators Made Simple with the Yield Keyword, Programmer Productivity: The “Tenfinity Factor”, rtaylor.info » Blog Archive » Programming Jokes, Dew Drop - May 9, 2008 | Alvin Ashcraft's Morning Dew, Amazing Computers, IT and Programming Jokes | .NETics, http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/, rascunho » Blog Archive » links for 2008-05-09, Programming Jokes « PHP::Impact ( [str blog] ), Top 10 phrases spoken by a Klingon Programmer | ShawTim's Gossip, Le blog de Vincent Battaglia » En vrak - 77, http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/Math, Advertencias y Errores | Blog de Marcelo Ramos | Lo que hago, lo que me interesa, lo que me llama la atención, optimiced | bg » Колекция вицове за програмисти и технологии, http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/KILLER, The Great Geek Manual » Link Round-Up: May 9, smoking a cigarette « Syafriadi’s Journal, Corat - Coret Ad0n » Best Programming Jokes, » :: “What is computer’s gender?” There is a wise saying: Live, then write, Английский для блоггеров от программистов-шутников | Международная блогопанорама, even cant genie help users to satisfied with programmer software | Umer Talha, Un poco de humor “friki” | César D. Rodas. At the 42nd National Film Awards, an award for "Best … 7F replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”, That comic picture with the C++ code on the blackboard made me laugh. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. CHIP: Munchies fer the TV. Have fun guys! Updated hourly. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. LOL Hillarious!!! But instead she initiated a Do While loop where she recalled a previous boyfriend with a larger pointer. A great mix : “Only Chuck Norris can edit PDF’s”. Your feeling of self-worth depends largely on how people treat software you made. “That was the demo,” the angel replies as she vanishes. Hated by end users. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”, The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. 05. After viewing product detail pages, look here to find an easy way to navigate back to pages you are interested in. Find the top 100 most popular items in Amazon Books Best Sellers. nice program & the jokes was very funny :-j, if(int i=1;i<=100000000000…. (Source). This can be done by a programmer only… how is it possible?? The women?” he screams frantically to the angel. Xfer Serum is one of the most popular VST synths for electronic music.. It’s a powerful and flexible plugin with a bold sound that works really well in a mix. ולמי שלא הבין, שינסה את המקור האנגלי […], […] Chistes para programadoreswww.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ por derethor hace pocos segundos […]. Have you heard about the new Cray super computer? Awesome post! Prime members enjoy FREE Delivery and exclusive access to music, movies, TV shows, original audio series, and Kindle books. I liked the Laws of .. in particular. Unload Me The first byte asks, “Are you ill?” […]. "<<"n"; ISDN: It Still Does Nothing https://comic.browserling.com. FF asks 7F, “Are you ill?” The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”, The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix’s wife. Specifications are for the weak and timid! “Make us a double.”. Reading packages…Done! I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”, The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”, The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse. APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aCMpJMzGgE&t=1s. Entire testing department quits. FLOPPY DISC: Whutcha git from trying to tote too much farwood. PnP: Plug and Pray I should kill you where you stand! Java Programmer 1: Now we have two problems, hinga@hinga-laptop:~$baby can i sudo-apt get install you! Strange jargon: “SCSI,” “RTFM,” “Java,” “ISDN”. Спасибо! Our most popular products based on sales. Here’s the most recent capture of the comedycode site: http://web.archive.org/web/20080122003440/http://www.comedycode.com/. Duke Nukem 3D. You’re 1337, baby!”  This caused his stack to overflow, and he shot his GUI on her interface. “Knock, knock.” The women?” he screams frantically to the angel. Click here […]. A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. Learn more about game development programming languages, … To expedite the routine routine, she screamed, “Hack into my system! He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch. But if you ever need to see the prior contents of a site, check out archive.org. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. Although courses vary by program, most computer programming degrees require coding, ethical hacking, user experience, and mathematics courses. 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